Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
