you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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