Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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