between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
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I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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