yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
