I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
