pedialite and red bull = repair kit
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
