so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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