He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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