I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
