i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
