Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
