Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
