So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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