no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize