he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
