So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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