Fuck appropriateness.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
