mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She said her name was "party"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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