ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
