Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
