I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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