i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The air was thick with penises
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
