The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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