Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
