sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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