She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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