you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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