i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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