Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
