Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
