that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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