If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
