Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
