i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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