I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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