Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just come out here and I will go home with you...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
