sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
