Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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