Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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