I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
