i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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