wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
