I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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