You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
