the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
