when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!