My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
