i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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