The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
