You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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