I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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