what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
