My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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