i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
