I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
