your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
