With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
