I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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