Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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