what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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