wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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