Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
