so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
