my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
